You’re the Last Person I Would Expect
by The Moof
Summary: What happens to a lovesick Decepticon who is in love with a human gets drunk? Oneshot. Thundercracker x OC


Title: You're the Last Person I Would Expect

Fandom: Transformers G1

Character: Thundercracker, Skywarp, Wheeljack, Jazz and Cindy

Prompt: Intoxicated

Word Count: 923

Rating: R

Warnings: A very drunken and extremely lecherous robot trying to seduce a very confused human female. XD

Author's Notes: So the girl has my name and is a mutant, so flippin' what. :b

Disclaimer: I do not own Thundercracker, Skywarp, Wheeljack, Jazz, Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave, Hook, Megatron, the Decepticons, or the Autobots; they are all owned by Hasbro. I do own Cindy.

He landed outside Autobot headquarters with a wobble. His balance wasn't good and only getting worse. But he didn't care. He wanted to see her. Talk to her, and maybe even… anyway all he knew was that the thought of her was bouncing back and forth in the back of his mind for weeks. Whether on the battle field or a random encounter, every time he saw her he got aroused. He knew it was wrong to have these feelings for a human; but right now, he really didn't give a fuck.

As he walked closer to Autobot City, the smile on his face broadened. He remembered that he was left on Earth to watch a large shipment of high grade with the other Seekers. Seeing this as his opportunity to see her, he decided to get his courage up via a few cubes of high grade. Maybe if he was lucky, she would be his size if she did decide to use her string/membrane powers or what ever they where called. Only Starscream, Shockwave, Hook, or Soundwave could understand her mutant powers and what they could do, but right now he was getting to buzzed to care.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid. How in the frackin' universe did you pull this off? And frackin' why? When Starscream finds out he's going to fucking slag you! Idiot! And I don't even want to know what Megatron will try to do to you and me when he finds out. Stupid, stupid, stupid!'

Inside Autobot City, Jazz walks into Wheeljack's lab to see Cindy and Wheeljack working on something.

"Um, Cindy?" said Jazz to the human who was helping Wheeljack with a new nightmare of Wheeljack's.

"What's up Jazz?" she asked.

The Jazz continued, "You got company waitin' for ya outside."

Looking at Wheeljack, then back at Jazz. "Who in the hell would want to see me at this god awful hour?"

Jazz just sighed, "You wouldn't believe me if I told ya. Hell I don't believe it ether and I saw him."

Following Jazz outside, Cindy and Wheeljack stopped with eyes and optics as wide as kitchen tables.

Wheeljack was starting to fume, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"It can't be!" said Cindy in shock.

'Thank Primus I found you!' thought Skywarp, 'And why are you so fucking drunk, Thundercracker?'

Taking a huge swig of his high grade, Thundercracker smiled as he slowly walked around the Transformer sized human like a predator stalking its prey. "Did it hurt?" he asked her in a seductive, but somewhat slurred, voice.

Raising an eyebrow, Cindy asked, "Did what hurt?"

"When you fell down from heaven? Because my sources say that heaven is missing an angel."

'Smooth, real smooth Thundercracker.' thought Jazz with a snicker.

A low almost inaudible growl came from Wheeljack's vocalizer.

Skywarp face was twitching in a mixture of confusion and shock, 'He didn't just say that!' Twitch Twitch.

'Just what I needed right now,' thought Cindy with a groan, 'bad bar scene flashbacks coming from a Seeker of all people.'

"Can I tell you something babe." Said Thundercracker as he lightly petted her left cheek with the back of his left hand.

"And what might that be Thundercracker?" she asked warily to the drunken Seeker.

Cupping her chin in his hand, Thundercracker looked at the confused woman who was at his very mercy. He was too damn drunk to have any self doubts; or doubts of any kind for that matter. As Thundercracker's thoughts raced at the possibilities, his thumb lightly traced her lips and he started to smile arrogantly. A smile Jazz and, unfortunately for Thundercracker, Wheeljack recognized as the arrogance that was reminiscent of Starscream.

Skywarp, Jazz and Wheeljack could all tell where Thundercracker was heading; and if all three of them shared the same thought between them, they all thought in unison,

'You better not be thinking of going where I think you're going Thundercracker.'

But the true unfortunate one was Cindy. She wasn't prepared for Thundercracker to grab the back of her head with one hand and his other hand grabbed her ass as he passionately kissed her; separating her mouth with his glossa to give her a deep French kiss. Her eyes widened as she tried to push him off her.

"Get off of her you fucking basterd!" screamed Wheeljack as he ran up to Thundercracker and Cindy and throwing his whole weight into pushing Thundercracker in order to break the Cindy from the unwanted embrace of the Decepticon. Separating them, Wheeljack stood up in front Cindy so he could prevent the Seeker from touching her again. "Come on Thundercracker, give me a reason to kill you!"

Thundercracker was beyond livid. How dare this old timer come between him and his prize. Getting up, Thundercracker walk up to Wheeljack till he and the Autobot where barley touching each other. "You want to throw down old man? Then go for it! Show me what ya got!" said Thundercracker as he shoved Wheeljack back.

Helping Cindy up, Jazz then yelled to Wheeljack, "What in the hell are you thinkin' man? This is insane!"

Running up behind Thundercracker was Skywarp, "TC what the fuck? For get about the chick and let's get out here!"

Realizing that if he stayed, he would have more than just Wheeljack to contend with, it would be him and Skywarp against thirty or so Autobots. Turning around he and Skywarp transformed and flew off. As he left his fantasy girl behind, Thundercracker thought to himself, 'She is mine Wheeljack!'


End file.
